Hello world!

10 Dec

Coming Soon!!! A blog about the things that happen in the Philly Gay Scene and how I survive it.

Happy Face Ugly side pretty


Playing a Game Called Grindr

17 May

Playing a Game Called Grindr

Last month I was sitting having brunch with my closest friends (yes I get it, is the gay meal of the day) discussing the crazy things that we did this week. Well mostly him describing how many twinks he sleep with that week and me really loving this brunch conversation. Then the conversation took a weird turn. He started telling me about a twink that he been talking to on Grindr that seem like dating material. Now I try not to judge but I’m gay I can’t help myself. I’m thinking Grindr yeah right. But I let him finish. So after talking to this twink for about a month he ask him to meet at his place for dinner and a movie. You don’t need to be psychic to know what happen after dinner. This is where the story gets interesting. My friend then asked the twink if he wanted to go out on a date sometime. To his surprise he said no that he was only there to get his kitty pounded (yes he called it a kitty) and it was nice for him to dine him before he put it in his hole. My friend with almost a tear in his eye ask me why was it so hard to find love. This is when I ask myself, “In a world controlled by Grindr, are we looking for love in all the wrong places?”

Anyone that has ever been in a relationship remembers that feeling. The feeling of infatuation that you feel when you first start dating someone new. The butterflies, the way you feel when you wake up and the first thing you see is a text from him, and the way he can melt you with just a single look. Yes guys this sounds like a fairy-tale But the gay world is just like that. That’s the feeling a hookup leaves. That constant feeling of infatuation over and over again. Its exciting sleeping with someone new all the time. The fact you can hook up with someone beautiful every day is so intoxicating that you want to keep that feeling lasting forever. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, “Are we conditioning ourselves to this version of gay love?”

So where does that leave the rest of us? The guys that are trying to find true love in a world control by Grindr. Well it leaves us playing the same games by the same rules that everyone else plays by. We hookup just like everyone else does, hoping that one of those hookups leads to something special. The problem with this is that I’m not sure when this happens but it does, and no one remembers when it happens to them, the moment we start sleeping around just so we don’t feel lonely or just to fill the void. This is specially true for the people that have been in love before. We do anything to just get a taste of that feeling again even if its just for an instant. Then we get trap in the same cycle of just meaningless sex. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with sleeping around and hooking up with someone beautiful. Trust me I been there. To feel wanted or just to feel something. This can be exciting and depressing at the same time.

Now I wouldn’t be a good writing if I didn’t give you a solution after giving you the problem. The solution is simple. Play the game because you have to but set your own house rules. There is nothing wrong with asking someone you think is interesting on a date. Yes intimacy is a big part of starting a relationship but its not the only thing. There is nothing wrong with getting to know a person inside and outside of the bedroom. Go to the bar to meet new people, not just so you have a better choice of guys on your Grindr chat. It never fails to surprise me the amount of guys that have never been on a real date. Try it, its a great feeling to get to like a person for more than their physical appearance. You might be shock that you actually like a person for more than just a picture you saw in a little blue and yellow screen. Remember the worse thing that can happen when you ask someone out on a date is that they say No.

Jay Nieves

Day One

17 May

The Ugly Side of Pretty Introduction

     I am so excited to start this blog. Now before you guys think that is is another Burn book or Gossip gay, its not. I not writing any gossip (don’t get me wrong some of these stuff is entertaining) I’m just writing about the crazy things that happen in my life and the gay scene. This is a way to get my writing out there for people to see. My friends know how crazy my life is. Sometimes I wonder does the f-up things that happen to me happen to other people. The Gay Scene is such a crazy place, between the twinks, one night stands, Grindr, and drinking at night clubs its surprises me how people make it out alive.

     Today I look back and think about the crazy things we did when I came out ten years ago. It seem like almost yesterday I was celebrating my first Gay New Year at Baxter’s. Baxter’s was one of the only gay bar’s in Wilmington, DE where I grew up. It was nothing special but it was what our friends call home. This group of guys became my family. Even though some of us are not all friends anymore I still consider them my family. These guys have been there thru all the crazy things that had happen to me over the years. Like my crazy stoker boyfriend that nearly broke me mentally (I still come out on top) or when I went thru that bad boy faze.

     The reality is that I’m writing this blog to see if my crazy experiences will help someone out there. I came up with the name of this blog “The Ugly Side of Pretty” because everyone assumes that just because we are the pretty boy bartenders that we don’t have our set of problems.  The truth is that we get lonely like everyone else. People assume that we are just a pretty face and uneducated. I will write more on this topic later. I have so many stories that it will blow your mind(no pun intended).

     Well hope you enjoy. I apologize and advance for my grammar in advance. My goal is to become a better writer as the time progress I am Puerto Rican and English is not my first language. I also apologize in advance if I offend anyone. That’s not my intent but its going to happen. Hope you enjoy my writing and if you don’t its OK.

Jay Nieves

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